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dreamingpixelsI may as well get into this, since even though he's not a part of my life anymore, he still pisses me off. And this leads into the Bryan part of my life, too. Warning: this is a Wall Of Text.
(Also, entry is protected because I'm paranoid of Franco's crazy girlfriend finding it like she found my last Franco rant, and proceeded to tell me that I must rant about him because I still love him. Hahahahah. That makes about as much sense as my hours getting cut at Curves because I'm not trained.)
Anyway. Franco is my most recent ex boyfriend. I put up with him for close to three years, and he fucked me over pretty good. (And fucked me up as well, but I'm better now.) We dated from November 2004 to May 2007, on and off. When we started dating, he seemed like a nice guy. He'd hold open doors from me, kiss my hand every time he left my dorm room to go back to his own, took care of me when I got sick (he was actually really overprotective that first time I got sick), and bought me stuff. Shiny stuff. My first diamonds came from him.
But then May 2005 rolled around. Being with him was wearing on me. He'd verbally and emotionally kick my ass, and I just dealt with it. I'd been in a rough living situation with Jerky Ex Joe (which I'll probably write about in another about me entry), and dealt with a lot of sexual and emotional abuse (as well as neglect, since he took all my paychecks and kinda forgot to buy groceries, and since I couldn't get my own, I dropped so much weight it was insane) from this asshole. And I was still pretty fucked up from that, and just thought that Franco was the best I could do, so I dealt with it.
During May, my friend Tammy introduced me to her friend Elliot. Now, Elliot turned out to be weirder than hell, but when given the choice between the two, I'd pick Elliot. Anyway, I was developing feelings for Elliot, and feeling very confused. Elliot treated me like an actual human being! This was new! Anyway, I asked for some time off from dating Franco, and that lasted two months. He visited me at my apartment in Geneva and spewed a bunch of crap about how much he missed me and how much he loved me, and how he wished we were back together, blah blah blah. So we get back together, Elliot tells me I'm dumb (and I was!), and the summer ends and I move back up to Potsdam, never to see Elliot again. (Mostly because Franco got VERY upset when I even mentioned Elliot. I should have taken the hint.)
So, fall of '05. He ignored me through most of this semester, choosing to play Counter Strike while I did homework in his room, or watched TV. I think it was around this time when he started working on living his "Italian Greaseball" lifestyle. And I mean that in every sense of the word. Not only did he act like a mobster most of the time... he didn't shower much at all. Gross.
Spring semester of '06 led to a NASTY breakup. It got to the point where during April of that year, he never once addressed me by my name - only "woman" or "bitch". And all I did was put up with his shit. I didn't deserve any of that. When he threatened to literally pick me up and throw me out of his room one night, I realized that I was just going to have to learn to go without him. And we didn't speak for a while. Summer started, I got an apartment, and started living on my own. Franco begged me to go to his mom's house in Jersey to go see a Jimmy Buffett concert with him, and OH LORD THE MIXED SIGNALS. One moment he yelled at me for holding his hand, the next he had his arm around me and was singing "Brown Eyed Girl" to me. By the end of 4th of July weekend, I was very confused. Fast forward to August, and he comes up so he can go to his friends' wedding. I was his 'date'. He hardly looked at me, hardly spoke to me, and the one time I asked for a hug he got upset. I spent the entire wedding trying my hardest not to cry while he ignored the shit out of me. He'd jerked me back and forth all damn summer, and I was heartbroken and confused. And then that night he demanded sex, and I told him no way in hell. He was PISSED. When he told me after the wedding weekend to "go ahead and see other guys", I did. I dated this cute younger guy from the cast of the summer musical I was in that year. (I am so glad nobody stumbled upon the nun and the Nazi general making out in a practice room. Hooray for The Sound of Music!)
Now, keep in mind what I just told you - Franco treated me like shit, and told me to see other guys. When I talked to him about Cody and Lida's wedding a few months later, he said "I was actually planning to propose to you. Cody told me not to, though." So you treat me like hell, ignore me,
WHAT THE SHIT. He ignored me, treated me like dirt, demand that I fuck him, and then he told me to date other guys, because he really wanted to marry me? Oh that makes so much sense.
So, he disappears, I date the cute hot guy for a few weeks, and when Franco comes back up to school and sees that I'm dating cute hot guy, he gets upset. "I didn't think you would actually go date other guys!" He then refuses to talk to me for a few days.
During those few days, my friend Pedro came up to visit. Pedro and I had an interesting relationship. He was one of my best friends when I started college, and we had that kind of "let's cuddle, let's sleep together, it's not really sexual at all" relationship when we saw each other after he transferred to another school. It was nice. Anyway, Pedro comes up, we go out to the bar with some more of my friends, and have some fun. I was a little drunk, dancing with Tara, when I look up at the bar. There's a curly haired guy that I recognized - he was my friend Kenny's roomate (Kenny had the biggest crush on me, and did some stupid things for me, like buy me a laptop), and he dated my friend Callie. He looked at me, grinned, and I swear I just about melted. Tara saw me making puppy eyes at this guy and told me I should go talk to him. And I got brave and went over there. I honestly thought this guy was so far out of my league, that he was just humoring me while we talked about anime. He said he'd buy me a long island iced tea later on that night.
(Which he still owes me, actually.)
Sadly, the combination of chinese food and alcohol made us all a little woozy, and I left before I got my drink, stumbling home with Pedro to lay around and listen to trance music while he smoked pot.
Pedro left the next day, and cute guy from the bar somehow manages to find my screen name. He asked where I went the previous night, and was sad that I left before he could buy me that drink. I told him I got sick and went home. He asked if I wanted to get together and watch anime with him that day, and I said yes. I went to his townhouse, and we put on Cowboy Bebop, since I hadn't finished seeing that yet.
We didn't really watch much of it.
So, anyway, at the end of the night, he drives me home. I felt amazing - this guy felt too good to be true. He was sweet, funny, charming, attractive, kind, and he smelled nice. And he actually paid attention to me, and in a good way. After he dropped me off at home, we talked online for hours. I enjoyed it. I admit, I was falling fast for this guy. We spent the whole weekend watching anime, just about, and he stayed at my apartment one night. The fact that he stayed on the futon with me through the entire night was amazing. The futon was horrible and uncomfortable.
Anyway, Franco comes out of his funk and comes over. One thing leads to another, and he's begging me to go back to him while we're having sex.
Two hours later, cute guy from the bar, also known as Bryan, asked me to date him.
I'd made the stupidest decision of my life two hours before cute bar guy asked me to date him. I went back to that fucker.
Bryan stood by me, though. We still spent a lot of time together, and Franco didn't notice, he was wrapped up in his own world. I fell into a deep depression because of the shit Franco had put me through, and the fact that I was so very confused about my feelings for him and for Bryan. Bryan stuck with me through that, too - he held me while I cried, brought me food when I was so deep in an anxiety attack that I didn't even want to leave the room to cook, and pretty much came whenever I called. In November of 2006, I was the one who told Franco to take a hike. And it looked like he took it surprisingly well. No screaming, no crying, no begging me to take him back. All he asked was that I go down to his mom's for Christmas, since he didn't want me spending the holidays alone in Potsdam.
Yet another dumb decision on my part. We spent the week between the end of school and Christmas arguing. At one point, he fell to his knees and begged me to marry him. I told him no, and asked him what the hell he was thinking.
Then I got to break it to his mom that we hadn't been together for a month and a half. She was pissed - mostly because she'd now wasted so much money on Christmas presents for a girl her son wasn't even dating. (I never really liked Teri - she seemed too fake to me.) Anyway, Christmas comes, and I go. To Bryan's. And tell Bryan I'd like to date him.
But no, the stupidity doesn't end there. Franco freaks. Franco gets so mad that while he's doing his medieval re-enactment stuff, he fights so hard he breaks his wrist. And then whines to me about it. And whines to me about how he's changed, how he can be so much better, if I only gave him another chance.
I almost lost the best thing that ever happened to me, because of those words "give me another chance". I stupidly did. That chance lasted three weeks. He hadn't changed one bit. I told him I was done with him in May of '07, there were no more chances, and that was that. I'd broken Bryan's heart and it hurt me, knowing that I did that. And he let me know I hurt him. And that hurt too.
Meanwhile, Franco begged me to marry him again (and I said no way in hell), and then he accused Bryan of "stealing his woman".
In July I went back to Bryan. And we haven't been apart since. I saw that someone out there valued me for who I was, for my personality as well as my physical beauty. I wasn't just a set of tits and ass to plonk on a shelf when I didn't amuse anymore, like it was with Franco.
Stupidly, in April of that year, Franco and I signed a lease for an apartment together, and he moved in that August. That was fucking retarded of me to stick with. He made my life hell, trying to get me to cuddle with him, never showering, and telling me he'd call the cops if he ever found Bryan in HIS apartment. (yeah, because me paying half the rent doesn't mean shit, does it, I'm just a woman, good for cooking, cleaning, and fucking, right Franco?) I left that hell hole after a month and a half of living together.
And Franco tried like hell to get me back. When that didn't work, he flaunted another girlfriend in my face. I got so angry at him - not for finding another girl, but for potentially putting another girl through what he put me through. And then he tried to get me back, and then waved another girl under my nose, and back and forth until I told him last summer to back the fuck off, that I was engaged, and Bryan could just as easily call the cops on HIM for harrassing me.
Anyway, I rant about Franco from time to time. I still haven't vented all the anger I kept bottled up for years. If it weren't for Bryan, I'd probably be married to that dumbass, depressed as all hell and not doing anything useful with myself.
I feel better after this OMG WALL OF TEXT.
(Also, entry is protected because I'm paranoid of Franco's crazy girlfriend finding it like she found my last Franco rant, and proceeded to tell me that I must rant about him because I still love him. Hahahahah. That makes about as much sense as my hours getting cut at Curves because I'm not trained.)
Anyway. Franco is my most recent ex boyfriend. I put up with him for close to three years, and he fucked me over pretty good. (And fucked me up as well, but I'm better now.) We dated from November 2004 to May 2007, on and off. When we started dating, he seemed like a nice guy. He'd hold open doors from me, kiss my hand every time he left my dorm room to go back to his own, took care of me when I got sick (he was actually really overprotective that first time I got sick), and bought me stuff. Shiny stuff. My first diamonds came from him.
But then May 2005 rolled around. Being with him was wearing on me. He'd verbally and emotionally kick my ass, and I just dealt with it. I'd been in a rough living situation with Jerky Ex Joe (which I'll probably write about in another about me entry), and dealt with a lot of sexual and emotional abuse (as well as neglect, since he took all my paychecks and kinda forgot to buy groceries, and since I couldn't get my own, I dropped so much weight it was insane) from this asshole. And I was still pretty fucked up from that, and just thought that Franco was the best I could do, so I dealt with it.
During May, my friend Tammy introduced me to her friend Elliot. Now, Elliot turned out to be weirder than hell, but when given the choice between the two, I'd pick Elliot. Anyway, I was developing feelings for Elliot, and feeling very confused. Elliot treated me like an actual human being! This was new! Anyway, I asked for some time off from dating Franco, and that lasted two months. He visited me at my apartment in Geneva and spewed a bunch of crap about how much he missed me and how much he loved me, and how he wished we were back together, blah blah blah. So we get back together, Elliot tells me I'm dumb (and I was!), and the summer ends and I move back up to Potsdam, never to see Elliot again. (Mostly because Franco got VERY upset when I even mentioned Elliot. I should have taken the hint.)
So, fall of '05. He ignored me through most of this semester, choosing to play Counter Strike while I did homework in his room, or watched TV. I think it was around this time when he started working on living his "Italian Greaseball" lifestyle. And I mean that in every sense of the word. Not only did he act like a mobster most of the time... he didn't shower much at all. Gross.
Spring semester of '06 led to a NASTY breakup. It got to the point where during April of that year, he never once addressed me by my name - only "woman" or "bitch". And all I did was put up with his shit. I didn't deserve any of that. When he threatened to literally pick me up and throw me out of his room one night, I realized that I was just going to have to learn to go without him. And we didn't speak for a while. Summer started, I got an apartment, and started living on my own. Franco begged me to go to his mom's house in Jersey to go see a Jimmy Buffett concert with him, and OH LORD THE MIXED SIGNALS. One moment he yelled at me for holding his hand, the next he had his arm around me and was singing "Brown Eyed Girl" to me. By the end of 4th of July weekend, I was very confused. Fast forward to August, and he comes up so he can go to his friends' wedding. I was his 'date'. He hardly looked at me, hardly spoke to me, and the one time I asked for a hug he got upset. I spent the entire wedding trying my hardest not to cry while he ignored the shit out of me. He'd jerked me back and forth all damn summer, and I was heartbroken and confused. And then that night he demanded sex, and I told him no way in hell. He was PISSED. When he told me after the wedding weekend to "go ahead and see other guys", I did. I dated this cute younger guy from the cast of the summer musical I was in that year. (I am so glad nobody stumbled upon the nun and the Nazi general making out in a practice room. Hooray for The Sound of Music!)
Now, keep in mind what I just told you - Franco treated me like shit, and told me to see other guys. When I talked to him about Cody and Lida's wedding a few months later, he said "I was actually planning to propose to you. Cody told me not to, though." So you treat me like hell, ignore me,
WHAT THE SHIT. He ignored me, treated me like dirt, demand that I fuck him, and then he told me to date other guys, because he really wanted to marry me? Oh that makes so much sense.
So, he disappears, I date the cute hot guy for a few weeks, and when Franco comes back up to school and sees that I'm dating cute hot guy, he gets upset. "I didn't think you would actually go date other guys!" He then refuses to talk to me for a few days.
During those few days, my friend Pedro came up to visit. Pedro and I had an interesting relationship. He was one of my best friends when I started college, and we had that kind of "let's cuddle, let's sleep together, it's not really sexual at all" relationship when we saw each other after he transferred to another school. It was nice. Anyway, Pedro comes up, we go out to the bar with some more of my friends, and have some fun. I was a little drunk, dancing with Tara, when I look up at the bar. There's a curly haired guy that I recognized - he was my friend Kenny's roomate (Kenny had the biggest crush on me, and did some stupid things for me, like buy me a laptop), and he dated my friend Callie. He looked at me, grinned, and I swear I just about melted. Tara saw me making puppy eyes at this guy and told me I should go talk to him. And I got brave and went over there. I honestly thought this guy was so far out of my league, that he was just humoring me while we talked about anime. He said he'd buy me a long island iced tea later on that night.
(Which he still owes me, actually.)
Sadly, the combination of chinese food and alcohol made us all a little woozy, and I left before I got my drink, stumbling home with Pedro to lay around and listen to trance music while he smoked pot.
Pedro left the next day, and cute guy from the bar somehow manages to find my screen name. He asked where I went the previous night, and was sad that I left before he could buy me that drink. I told him I got sick and went home. He asked if I wanted to get together and watch anime with him that day, and I said yes. I went to his townhouse, and we put on Cowboy Bebop, since I hadn't finished seeing that yet.
We didn't really watch much of it.
So, anyway, at the end of the night, he drives me home. I felt amazing - this guy felt too good to be true. He was sweet, funny, charming, attractive, kind, and he smelled nice. And he actually paid attention to me, and in a good way. After he dropped me off at home, we talked online for hours. I enjoyed it. I admit, I was falling fast for this guy. We spent the whole weekend watching anime, just about, and he stayed at my apartment one night. The fact that he stayed on the futon with me through the entire night was amazing. The futon was horrible and uncomfortable.
Anyway, Franco comes out of his funk and comes over. One thing leads to another, and he's begging me to go back to him while we're having sex.
Two hours later, cute guy from the bar, also known as Bryan, asked me to date him.
I'd made the stupidest decision of my life two hours before cute bar guy asked me to date him. I went back to that fucker.
Bryan stood by me, though. We still spent a lot of time together, and Franco didn't notice, he was wrapped up in his own world. I fell into a deep depression because of the shit Franco had put me through, and the fact that I was so very confused about my feelings for him and for Bryan. Bryan stuck with me through that, too - he held me while I cried, brought me food when I was so deep in an anxiety attack that I didn't even want to leave the room to cook, and pretty much came whenever I called. In November of 2006, I was the one who told Franco to take a hike. And it looked like he took it surprisingly well. No screaming, no crying, no begging me to take him back. All he asked was that I go down to his mom's for Christmas, since he didn't want me spending the holidays alone in Potsdam.
Yet another dumb decision on my part. We spent the week between the end of school and Christmas arguing. At one point, he fell to his knees and begged me to marry him. I told him no, and asked him what the hell he was thinking.
Then I got to break it to his mom that we hadn't been together for a month and a half. She was pissed - mostly because she'd now wasted so much money on Christmas presents for a girl her son wasn't even dating. (I never really liked Teri - she seemed too fake to me.) Anyway, Christmas comes, and I go. To Bryan's. And tell Bryan I'd like to date him.
But no, the stupidity doesn't end there. Franco freaks. Franco gets so mad that while he's doing his medieval re-enactment stuff, he fights so hard he breaks his wrist. And then whines to me about it. And whines to me about how he's changed, how he can be so much better, if I only gave him another chance.
I almost lost the best thing that ever happened to me, because of those words "give me another chance". I stupidly did. That chance lasted three weeks. He hadn't changed one bit. I told him I was done with him in May of '07, there were no more chances, and that was that. I'd broken Bryan's heart and it hurt me, knowing that I did that. And he let me know I hurt him. And that hurt too.
Meanwhile, Franco begged me to marry him again (and I said no way in hell), and then he accused Bryan of "stealing his woman".
In July I went back to Bryan. And we haven't been apart since. I saw that someone out there valued me for who I was, for my personality as well as my physical beauty. I wasn't just a set of tits and ass to plonk on a shelf when I didn't amuse anymore, like it was with Franco.
Stupidly, in April of that year, Franco and I signed a lease for an apartment together, and he moved in that August. That was fucking retarded of me to stick with. He made my life hell, trying to get me to cuddle with him, never showering, and telling me he'd call the cops if he ever found Bryan in HIS apartment. (yeah, because me paying half the rent doesn't mean shit, does it, I'm just a woman, good for cooking, cleaning, and fucking, right Franco?) I left that hell hole after a month and a half of living together.
And Franco tried like hell to get me back. When that didn't work, he flaunted another girlfriend in my face. I got so angry at him - not for finding another girl, but for potentially putting another girl through what he put me through. And then he tried to get me back, and then waved another girl under my nose, and back and forth until I told him last summer to back the fuck off, that I was engaged, and Bryan could just as easily call the cops on HIM for harrassing me.
Anyway, I rant about Franco from time to time. I still haven't vented all the anger I kept bottled up for years. If it weren't for Bryan, I'd probably be married to that dumbass, depressed as all hell and not doing anything useful with myself.
I feel better after this OMG WALL OF TEXT.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-30 05:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-03-16 02:47 am (UTC)a) Franco manages to get his shit together and actually APOLOGIZES to you for treating you like shit
b) oh god, Bryan is NOT EVEN CLOSE to the best thing that will ever happen to you, the only good thing he's going to do for you is bring you to Indiana so you can meet people who actually give a shit about you