I am so exhausted.

[dreamingpixels]

The apartment looks like crap. Screw it. Pop can deal with it. I worked all day and then planned a musical based on a book about some Amish kids and a peacock for two and a half hours after that. And I cleaned a little. I put the laundry and the sewing away. If he doesn't like it, maybe he should show up when he says he will, like he was supposed to last week. The house was clean last week.

I have to change the resin kids into their nicer clothes, because I just feel weird having them sit there, 'Tomi in that failure of a nightgown I made (the pattern was a failure - I put it together pretty well), and Aidan in the same clothes he's been in since last summer when I changed his clothes last. Why the hell do I not care about impressing Pop, but want the resin kids to impress him? What the fuck am I on?

Ugh. My father makes me feel so negative. I'm sick of trying to arrange my life around his rare visits. I mean, honestly, I can barely remember the last time I saw him. I know it's been longer than two years - maybe closer to three. I'd rather go see Mom, but with her health being crappy and everything...

Ugh. I'm going to go grab something to munch on and then go to bed. Eff this.

Comments

[rin]

apparently I keep missing you on AIM. :/

Also...because the resin kids are an extension of you. I'm guess your dad probably has issues giving you praise...and if he won't praise you, he'll probably at least say how nice your dolls look or how interesting they are...it's kind of like praising you, in a backwards way.

I guess. :/

I love you bethie. I'd help you get ready if I was there.

[dreamingpixels]

I'm sorry we keep missing each other - I have to go to bed at stupid o'clock in order to be coherent enough to work at 8 am. Bleh.

And praise me? I'm lucky if he notices I exist sometimes.

[luludi]

Just *hugs*... 'cause it sounds like you need 'em.

[dreamingpixels]

*hugs*