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Sep. 23rd, 2009 07:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dreamingpixelsMaybe it's me being sick, maybe it's because I had a rough day which ended with a student weeping because he had 20 minutes of time out during recess, or maybe it's the depression talking, but I'm seriously wondering if I'm cut out to be a teacher.
Oh, I handled weepy kid pretty well- sure, he kept crying, but I didn't lose it, and that's the important thing, I guess.
But I'm one of the least organized people on the planet. I'm also pretty awkward around kids. I'm irresponsible. I would love nothing better than to just curl up in bed and sleep until 8, read a book all day, and have that be my day.
I had the first of four "triad" meetings, where I sit down with my supervisor and my mentor teacher and we talk about "how I'm doing", and rate things on a 0-3 scale, 0 being "needs work" and 3 being the level of a master teacher.
Well, apparently I'm a master teacher when it comes to dressing myself professionally. Other than that, I'm no better than a student fresh out of their 100 hour observation period. I've been at this for four weeks, and teaching for half the day for two. And my mentor teacher and my supervisor said I've come a long way from where I was when I started, which leads me to believe I was an absolute wreck when I came in. A well dressed wreck, but a wreck nonetheless.
I have maturity issues. I need to learn to shut up when others are talking. I need to be less "calm and soothing" when in front of the class. I need to be more of a disciplinarian. I need to plan better. I need to be more aware of what every student in the class is doing. I need to vary my lessons more. I need to do this that and the other thing. I need to be someone entirely different.
I think I just wasted a lot of money on an education that may end up getting no use at all.
Oh, I handled weepy kid pretty well- sure, he kept crying, but I didn't lose it, and that's the important thing, I guess.
But I'm one of the least organized people on the planet. I'm also pretty awkward around kids. I'm irresponsible. I would love nothing better than to just curl up in bed and sleep until 8, read a book all day, and have that be my day.
I had the first of four "triad" meetings, where I sit down with my supervisor and my mentor teacher and we talk about "how I'm doing", and rate things on a 0-3 scale, 0 being "needs work" and 3 being the level of a master teacher.
Well, apparently I'm a master teacher when it comes to dressing myself professionally. Other than that, I'm no better than a student fresh out of their 100 hour observation period. I've been at this for four weeks, and teaching for half the day for two. And my mentor teacher and my supervisor said I've come a long way from where I was when I started, which leads me to believe I was an absolute wreck when I came in. A well dressed wreck, but a wreck nonetheless.
I have maturity issues. I need to learn to shut up when others are talking. I need to be less "calm and soothing" when in front of the class. I need to be more of a disciplinarian. I need to plan better. I need to be more aware of what every student in the class is doing. I need to vary my lessons more. I need to do this that and the other thing. I need to be someone entirely different.
I think I just wasted a lot of money on an education that may end up getting no use at all.
My own unofficial evaluation in which I demonstrate I know jack all!
Date: 2009-09-25 01:07 am (UTC)As for the other stuff, I'm sure it's not all -that- heavy. Perhaps with less "calm and soothing" and more disciplinarian, it's probably just them failing to porperly communicate that you'd need to strike a balance between the two. Like saying that while it's okay to be friendly, it still needs to be clear that you are in charge, and that you are in charge for a reason. Or something like that.
Needing to be aware of what everyone is doing ... well, that's probably a given. As a teacher, you're as responsible for them as your mentor and supervisor are for you, so you wouldn't want to be completely in the dark about them. I'm pretty sure that that particular skill takes time develop, though.
As for maturity issues and learning to shut up when others are talking and planning better and lesson variance ... well, I can't offer up anything there other than I personally think you have no problem shutting up and listening when you want to, and that the only way I think you'd be perceived to have maturity issues was if you consistently acted the age of the kids in your class, or they read your blogs circa the 1990s.
I try to look at it this way: if my lesson plan is keeping me engaged and attentive, it's at least on the right track. If it seems repetitive and boring to me, it's likely in need of improvement somehow, and in some way that will make it engaging for me again.
Granted, I'm not working with kids in a compulsory classroom setting that I'll be seeing 180-something days a year - at least, not those who biologically are kids - but people who are at least 16, in groups of three or four at most for 5-8 days at most and rarely in a row, and whom I can dismiss if they underperform consistently. Plus you're getting formal education for this while the limit of my own training on it was a few follow shifts and a one-day seminar. But after doing my thing for the better part of three-and-a-half years, I'd like to think I've picked up enough to offer my own little insight.
If all else fails, try resorting to acting. Sure, you'd love nothing more than to sleep and read all day, but you can still -act- like you're Superteacher! Heavens knows I've had to act like Supertrainer on days where I didn't want to be there or had other things on my mind.
In short, if 0 is an F and 3 is an A+, then on your absolute worst day you're a C-, and your supervisor and mentor probably need to be a little more aware of what -you're- doing, and maybe offer up a little guidance rather than telling you what you need to do. Teaching is definitely not simply giving orders.
See! I know jack all!